Humor Britânico

Andava fora destas lides à muito tempo. Aliás a alcunha de Prosinecki do blog não me é colocada em vão.

No entanto e antes de entrar em força,(Leia-se 90 min. sem limitações), tenho de ir rodando nos escalões inferiores durante uns períodos.

Esta introdução ao post não é mais do que a justificação do mesmo. É que o post..... não é meu!

Mas enfim se a clarinha pinto correia plagia, como grande fã plagio a minha plagiadora preferida.

Bom mas indo mais directo ao assunto, e deixando-me dos afamados rodriguinhos nacionais, o meu post consiste num artigo do guardian sobre o dia de hoje na futebolândia em inglaterra. Para algumas coisas é preciso algum conhecimento antecipado sobre os meandros da bola na terra do james bond. Para o resto não.

Divirtam-se e como dizia o Taveira dizia...

Aqui vai

The Fiver has regretted many things in its time, but turning up with a
hangover for our A-level PE practical has to rank as one of the
costliest headaches of all. Had we not dropped the envelope while
attempting the all-important handing-the-bung-to-the-chairman section
of the exam, we might now be looking at one of the top eight
managerial jobs in the world, otherwise known as the vacant hotseat
at Newcastle United!

"We have been swamped with interest from some of the best managers in
the game," explained Newcastle chairman Freddy Shepherd today,
nonchalantly stroking a Freddy Shepherd statuette, "which is not
surprising as this is one of the top eight managerial jobs in the
world." The Fiver began to count, ran out of fingers and toes, and
decided life was too short.

In the meantime, news emerged that the latest club to just say no to
Big Freddy is Aston Villa. "The simple fact is that David O'Leary is
under contract," pointed out a Villa suit, showing a touching faith
in the paper these things are written on. "We haven't had any
approach, but one from Newcastle - or anyone else - would not be
welcomed and would be rejected."

No matter! Because Terry Venables is in town and spent all of today
locked in talks/unseemly haggling/jewellery-swapping with Shepherd.
Still, El Tel could face stiff competition before he gets the chance
to rescue/relegate yet another ailing club with ideas above their
station. Depending on which rag you read, Newcastle have attracted
the interest of Gordon Strachan, Phil Scolari, Hector Cuper, Ottmar
Hitzfeld, Elvis Presley, St Francis of Assisi and Attila the Hun.
Only Sir Clive Woodward has maintained a veil of non-interest. What's
that? Oh.

* * * * * * * * * * *

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Our coach says [Scotland] play in the same way as San Marino, who we
meet later in our World Cup group. They will be ideal preparation" -
Jose Reyes hurls the ultimate insult at San Marino.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

TOKEN ENGLAND FIVER

Three months ago, England had an embarrassment of riches in the middle
of the park. Since then, they have lost more midfielders than George
Best has pub brawls: Paul Scholes quit while he was ahead, David
Beckham was replaced by his evil twin, a wheezing, fly-half with more
lead in his backside than in your average HB factory, and Nicky Butt
is injured again. So the last thing they needed was for Steven
Gerrard to withdraw from training ahead of the trip to Austria. But,
mercifully for this intro, that's exactly what he's done.

Gerrard has a groin injury [insert your own
'isn't-he-best-mates-with-Wayne-Rooney?' gag here] but everyone is
confident that he will be fit for Saturday. "He will be reassessed in
the morning," droned an FA suit, inadvertently finding a cure for
insomnia. "We are very confident that he will be [fit, but you know
it already]." One man who is fit, ready and in no danger whatsoever
of shutting that chattering cakehole of his, however, is Chelsea
chancer Joe Walter-Mitty-Cole, who reckons he's better than
Ronaldinho!

"I'm really enjoying [terrorising defences like Crystal Palace]
because I'm playing in the position I like to play," Joe swooned.
"England are crying out for a player like myself." And then, as he
Cruyff-turned Hetty Wainthropp to prove the point, the part-time
England sub roared: "There's nobody that can play at the top of a
diamond like me." Or tickle the Fiver's ribs in quite the same way.

Midas